Installing Internet filters and device restrictions is definitely one way to provide a layer to protect your kids online but it’s not enough. Certain apps offer search engines that don’t get recognized by filters. If your child wants to look, it isn’t hard for them to find a way around basic restrictions and not get caught. This doesn’t mean you...[ read more ]
If you’re interested in finding out whether your behavior could be as the result of a sexual addiction, you can always take the Sexual Addiction Screening Test (SAST), which is designed to assist in the assessment of sexually-compulsive behavior. The SAST was developed in cooperation with hospitals, treatment programs, private therapists, and community groups, and can help to distinguish between...[ read more ]
The last thing that some women want to do is chronicle and memorialize their trauma but that’s exactly one piece of advice I encourage. Journaling is beneficial following disclosure of a spouse’s betrayal because it allows the spouse/partner to vent without reproach or correction. She can express every single thought, feeling/emotion, and expletive that she wants. Because many women in...[ read more ]
We touched upon the first characteristic of Intimacy Anorexia (IA)—busyness—in this post. The second characteristic—blame—is when the person struggling with IA’s first response is to put responsibility on the spouse for any and all problems in the relationship. This will come before they’re willing to accept any blame themselves. It’s much easier for the person who has IA to see...[ read more ]
You might recall the book called The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. I always recommend the book to clients. It’s a classic and the information Chapman provides rings as true today as the day he wrote it. Basically, we all have a primary love language—how we best receive love from others. You either receive love best through gifts, acts...[ read more ]
As couples recover individually and together from sexual addiction and betrayal trauma, I like to encourage physical exercise. If they are willing to engage in some form of exercise together, even better. We all know that exercise is good for us for so many reasons, but physical exercise done with a partner increases accountability and can draw you closer to...[ read more ]
Have you ever considered group counseling? A group dynamic might seem intimidating at first, but a lot of healing happens in group counseling. Meeting with group members who are in your same situation helps you to understand you aren’t alone. Knowing that others are walking the same path of healing can be comforting and combat the isolation tendency that one...[ read more ]
Intimacy Anorexia (IA) is a primary relationship disorder that affects marriage and long-term relationships. Those who have IA actively withhold and remain distant from their spouse emotionally, spiritually, and/or sexually. Click here to find out the eleven characteristics of IA and see whether you or your spouse have at least 5 of them. A person who is struggling with IA...[ read more ]
In part one of What Women Grieve, I covered how painful a reminder a wedding ring can be in betrayal trauma. This post delves into the other painful reminder: photographs. A partner who has experienced betrayal (and this can still occur if the discovery wasn’t recent but is more common within the year of discovery) is going through her life...[ read more ]
While facilitating a woman’s healing group, it became apparent to me that I hit a universal sore spot with the group when I mentioned wedding rings and the pain associated with keeping yours on after you have received sexual addiction betrayal by your spouse. There are few subjects that can bring about such a resounding nodding of heads and immediate...[ read more ]
