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Criteria of Sexual Addiction

People often ask how to distinguish one who is struggling with a sexual addiction versus someone who just “enjoys looking at porn.” There are plenty of people who watch pornography and masturbate but aren't addicted to the behavior. This does not mean they will not be, eventually, but in the moment recreational pornography viewing and masturbation due to arousal is...[ read more ]

The Heart of Man Movie

A well-made, beautifully cinematic and heart-felt movie that you may or may not have heard about concerning sexual addiction was released this past September called, The Heart of Man. The movie was released to ticket holders for just two exclusive showings in theaters this past season. It is now available to purchase as a DVD or on iTunes. It was...[ read more ]

Triggers (for the betrayed partner)

Triggers are hard to define because they can be any myriad of things, and are very personal to the betrayed. Basically, a trigger is anything—an action, situation, circumstance, location, item, word spoken, memory, reaction—which causes the partner to go back into the place of pain as though they are experiencing pain as if it were fresh again. You can think...[ read more ]

Sexual addict vs. sexual predator

The general public was disgusted and judgmental of celebrity figures when they succumbed to their bad choices in the wake of their sexual addiction. Recall the fall of Tiger Woods, Josh Duggar, and Charlie Sheen. Their bad choices led to time in rehab and time out of the spotlight. Compared to the scandals today, the choices made by Woods, Duggar...[ read more ]

Careful disclosure

After a person’s disclosure of their sexual addiction, the partner who was caught unaware has to process so many emotions. If they were told about the addiction in a careful and controlled manner, perhaps with the help of a specialized therapist, they likely received the entire truth of their partner’s deception minus the gritty details. This is because if a...[ read more ]

Hef and Harvey

In the span of a month, the world has witnessed the death of Playboy Magazine founder, Hugh Hefner, and the remarkable fall of movie mogul Harvey Weinstein. While the two events aren’t connected, there has been a lot of dialog as of late about each man. One started the sexual revolution while the other took advantage of this so-called revolution...[ read more ]

Will I trust again? Part II

In the previous post, we covered how complicated it is to peel through the layers of confusion and deception when you first discover your partner’s betrayal. You aren’t prepared for how much time it will take to come out of the fog. You should consider seeking counsel from a specialized therapist and/or join a support group of other women who...[ read more ]

Will I ever trust again?

As I started to write this post, I realized that this issue is very complicated. It’s not as simple as just giving yourself time. There are layers and layers of feelings to sort through. I’m going to break this issue into two parts to try to explain the complexity. First though, let’s assume that you just discovered your partner’s deceit....[ read more ]

The origins of sexual addiction

While there is no exact known cause for a sexual addiction, there are known biological and psychological factors that lead to the development of a sexual addiction. This post will explore the reason for a psychological-based sexual addiction. In a 1995 study, Ralph Earle discovered that traumatic childhood incidents often play a part in contributing to a sexual addiction. Trauma...[ read more ]

Shame vs. Guilt

Brené Brown’s quote brings to light just how much we interchange the emotions of guilt and shame. Shame is destructive. Shame creates the stigma within us that says “I am bad.” At its core, that emotion relays that we are unworthy, perhaps even unlovable. Shame creates a wall that prevents us from growing closer….to others and in deepening in our...[ read more ]



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