How does your spouse want to be loved?

You might recall the book called The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. I always recommend the book to clients. It’s a classic and the information Chapman provides rings as true today as the day he wrote it. Basically, we all have a primary love language—how we best receive love from others. You either receive love best through gifts, acts of service, physical touch, spending quality time, or via words of affirmation (praise). You can probably pinpoint your spouse/partner’s primary love language because you know them well. They can likely name yours too.

Make a conscious effort today to think about your spouse/partner. What makes them feel loved? Is it a backrub, doing something nice for them like getting their car cleaned, writing some nice words in a card for them, telling them how grateful you are that they work so hard to make sure you are taken care of, or buying them flowers? Whatever it is that would make your spouse/partner feel special today, take a moment to plan to do that for them. Do not expect anything in return. In fact, speaking your spouse/partner’s love language is not about what you can get out of it and should never be the point. Just do it because you want them to feel valued, important, and loved.

If doing it once works and makes them smile, plan to do it again. Love takes work. When life is busy and you have been together for a while, you don’t always try as hard as you did when you were dating. You might find they reciprocate. Regardless, commit to doing something loving once a week (or more!) for a month, expecting nothing in return. It will change your relationship.

Speak Your Mind


Windsor, CO

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