In previous posts, we touched upon some of the other characteristics of intimacy anorexia (IA) including being busy, blame, withholding love, and withholding praise. This post’s topic is the next IA characteristic—withholding sexually. When was the last time you and your spouse had sex? It isn’t surprising when the spouse of a person struggling with IA answers “years” or “decades”...[ read more ]
The fourth characteristic of Intimacy Anorexia is withholding praise. Refer back to previous blog posts about other characteristics of IA, including busy, blame, and withholding love. When someone with IA withholds praise, they don’t share with their spouse the positive qualities that they love about them. They don’t comment when their spouse looks pretty or handsome. They don’t tell their...[ read more ]
Shortly we will be coming upon that time of year when daylight savings time ends, and it gets darker earlier. The seasonal ritual of rolling the clock back by an hour feels better than when we move it forward, but once we experience the darkness setting in when it is still afternoon, our mood darkens. This feeling might linger and...[ read more ]
Finding the right work-life balance is not as hard as what some couples report. When confronted with why couples in my office aren’t going on date nights, they each initially give long explanations about how busy they are and how the kids have so many activities happening. Then with more prodding, they admit that they can find time, they just...[ read more ]
Societal norms dictate that women aren’t supposed to show or express burst of anger. It isn’t “ladylike.” Such expectations cause women to bottle up emotion and internalize their hurts, which is terrible for their health. As you’ve likely heard before, confronting your anger, not dealing with it, or suppressing it causes dis-ease in the body, which can ultimately lead to...[ read more ]
Are you someone who feels nervous about therapy in general? Perhaps walk-and-talk therapy would work better for you. We live in such a beautiful area. Fort Collins, Greeley, Windsor, and Loveland all experience a majority of sunshine days per year. It’s the perfect location to take advantage of walk-and- talk therapy! Nature-based counseling has become more popular as research shows...[ read more ]
The question I am asked most often is, “is it an actual addiction or just bad behavior and they got caught?” My answer is “yes” and “yes.” Sex addicts, like most addicts looking for a fix, don’t make good decisions. Part of the disintegration of addiction involves the escalation of risky behavior. What once gave the addict a high (pornography)...[ read more ]
You know how your spouse best receives love. You know exactly the actions to take to make them feel special. Your spouse also knows these things about you. The third characteristic of Intimacy Anorexia is withholding love. If you recall, the first two characteristics of IA covered in other blog posts were being too busy and blaming. Withholding love is...[ read more ]
How do I restrict an iPhone? When confronting the issue of sexual addiction, one common experience is how can the person who is struggling with sexual addiction keep a smartphone? It isn’t enough to just have Covenant Eyes on your iPhone anymore. Many apps have their own search engines that bypass the Covenant Eyes filter. I am aware of extreme...[ read more ]
Are you feeling resigned to your current situation? Sometimes we become so stressed that we reach a point of feeling emotionally numb and stuck. Whether you are suffering from sexual addiction, betrayal trauma, or marital problems, you could be so unsettled with your current situation that there are too many feelings to process and you feel overwhelmed. It feels easier...[ read more ]
