In previous posts we covered the other characteristics of intimacy anorexia—being too busy, blaming, withholding love, withholding praise, withholding sexually, and withholding spiritually. This post is about the characteristic of intimacy anorexia when your partner is unable to express or share feelings. Dr. Doug Weiss, Ph.D. coined the term “intimacy anorexia.” The inability to share emotions or connect with your partner on an emotional level is the epitome of feeling lonely within your relationship. After all, it is through sharing feelings is how a couple forms the bond or connection that make them feel close.
Perhaps when you first met your partner, they were very good at emoting and delving into their feelings about memories. As time has gone on you might have noticed that they do so less and less and even begin to express frustration toward you when you try to build an emotional connection. This is a common Intimacy Anorexia occurrence and it leaves you feeling unfulfilled and miserable. You might even begin to question your own expectations and wonder whether your partner is right that you are the one who is too emotional. In time, you feel like you are in a relationship with a friend or roommate.
If this is a characteristic you have seen in your partner, read previous posts to see if they have other common Intimacy Anorexia characteristics. There is help and hope for combating Intimacy Anorexia. You can receive counseling as a partner of someone who has IA or you can enter counseling as a couple. If you live in northern Colorado (Fort Collins, Greeley, Windsor, Loveland, Johnstown, or Severance), contact Mending Hearts Counseling at 970-545-1111 today to get more information or schedule counseling.
